Slow Week

I’m sitting at work, practicing Social Distancing. Mostly, I’m avoiding assholes. Then again, that’s what I do every day.

My workload has been light so far this week. I rebuilt a pump on Monday because some dipshit closed a valve that is never supposed to be touched and I didn’t notice until the newly rebuilt pump didn’t work either. Everything else has been non-problems.

“The board on this crate is loose.”

“I think the reading on this power supply is too low.”

“Is the gap in this rail right?”

You get the idea. The idiots with whom I share the planet are getting on my last nerve, and I want the weekend to be here so I don’t have to be around them or hear about their latest displays of insanity. Sure, time seems to pass more quickly when I’m busy, but I haven’t been the least bit motivated all week.

Actually, I’ve been looking forward to next weekend, when I have a three-day weekend scheduled. Well, had scheduled.

I have a subscription with the local-ish massage joint. They charge me a discounted amount every month, and in exchange, I get to come in for a 50-minute massage once per month. It’s a good deal, since they carry over if not used. I think I have five on the books now.

Two weeks ago, I tried to get an appointment with my girl for this Friday, but she was fully booked. So, I scheduled my vacation day and a double slot with her for next Friday when she did have appointments available. Yes, my girl. She’s awesome, and the only one I’ll see. If she quits, I’m canceling my subscription.

A brilliant idea hit me a few minutes ago. Since the entirety of Earth’s population, minus like five people, have completely lost their minds, maybe a slot has opened up for this Friday with K. Because our lords and masters who are decreeing lockdowns left and right will probably get around to closing all non-essential businesses (as defined by them) by next week. Like they have the right. Anyway.

As luck would have it, not one slot, but two back-to-back slots were available with her. I had them cut and paste my appointment from next Friday to this Friday. As soon as I hung up, I reached out to my boss and rescheduled my vacation.

And it’s going to be in the low 80s Friday. So I’ll get to enjoy a gorgeous day on the tractor before heading to my 1600 appointment with Miss Magic Hands. Who isn’t at all hard on the eyes. Win. Win.

On Saturday, I have my third paying job with the tractor. Second, really. I did some work for a former boss several weeks ago supposedly at no charge, but the stubborn fucker insisted on paying me. Anyway, I have a quarter-mile dirt/sand driveway to grade. I went and looked at it yesterday. A trash hauling company uses it, and it’s rough. Chick says she wants someone out at least once a month to maintain it, maybe as frequently as bi-weekly.

I told her that it really needs some fill material, and then some sort of topping (ABC, gravel, something), but I’d do the best I could with what’s there. I under-bid heavily, for two reasons. First of all, I enjoy working on the tractor. Probably twenty of the almost 190 hours on it were doing shit for other people for free. Second, I’m not a pro, and it’s a very small tractor. It’ll take me all day to do what a full-sized tractor with a professional operator can do in an hour. And after all day, mine won’t look as good, both because of the equipment and the operator. Amateur results = amateur rates.

Technically, it’s a compact tractor, which is the second smallest class of “real” tractor (not a glorified lawnmower), but nobody uses less than a mid-size if they’re going to be doing paying work with it. Sorry. I keep getting distracted.

I’m honestly not sure that I want the ongoing contract. We’ll see how much time and effort it takes on Saturday, and how good I can get it. Then see how quickly it deteriorates under the truck traffic. I’m not going to spend four hours un-fucking it every month for fifty federal reserve notes. However, I wouldn’t mind spending up to an hour and a half every two weeks for the same fifty bucks. Plus, if her book of faces profile picture isn’t outdated or heavily photoshopped, she’s kinda cute. I’m not one to turn down an opportunity to be paid to observe nice scenery.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Idiots, Morons and Stupid Motherfuckers

I’ve often made fun of the people who empty the stores of bread and milk ahead of a snow event or hurricane. That behavior pales in comparison to the insanity that has infected the entire fucking planet over this Wuhan Flu virus apocalypse plague thing. It just boggles the mind. Then again, I was like the only person who thought that it was stupid to ground all air traffic in the wake of 9/11.

Maybe I’m just too fucking stupid to have a clue. I don’t know. This panic has the market tanking and borderline martial law all over the place. And for what? Yeah, if people get together, they might catch something from someone in the group. So, what? That’s always been the case. Yeah, this bug is worse than the usual stuff we deal with, but it’s not like it’s a death sentence except for a few categories of people. Those should probably self-quarantine until this shit blows over. The rest of us? Live life as normal. If you catch it, you’ll be miserable for a week or two and then it’ll be over. Life carries risk. Deal with it. Just don’t do so in a way that fucks the rest of us over.

And the government can just go fuck off. You’ve caused most of the problems that have ever existed, and those you didn’t cause, you made worse trying to “fix” them.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


It has been a while since I posted anything here. I’m sorry about that.

Work is work. I’ve been in the technician role for eight months now. I’d been out of the game for a decade, and my experience was more specialized and limited than my current responsibilities, so they offered me an obscenely low hourly rate. How low? I was making more per hour in 2004. I wasn’t completely sure how well I would do, and I really missed turning wrenches, so I took what was offered. I’ve since surprised myself and proven my abilities. My boss has been promising to get me bumped up to a less insulting rate for three months, but so far no change. Oh, well. I’ve developed a case of laziness, from which I have no intention of recovering until my compensation improves.

About six months ago, I tied the knot with the lady I’d been seeing for almost three years. Yes, marriage number five. Whatever. It’s a comfortable if not very romantic situation. We have plenty in common and get along well. She’s not a gun person, and she voted for the bitch in 2016. On the other hand, she doesn’t have any issues with my gun ownership, has accompanied me to the range and even shot a few magazines through my Glock .22 conversion. She’s not particularly political, so that’s not a real point of contention. I did buy a Trump 2020 hat this week just to piss her off, but it got little reaction. For the record, I didn’t vote for him in ’16 and I may or may not vote for him this year. But I definitely won’t be voting for Slow Joe.

I’ve put 185 hours on my little Kubota since I bought it last March. I thoroughly enjoy spending time on it. I’ve done driveway work, land grading and leveling, tree removal, yard preparation, and lots more. The property barely resembles the piece of land that I purchased just over four years ago.

I’m doing a keto diet for the umpteenth time, and am down about fifteen pounds since the beginning of the year. I only need to lose another ninety pounds. I wonder how long until I give up and balloon back up. Probably another ten pounds or so.

Well, those are the high points. Y’all take care.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Adventures in Tractoring

I bought a Kubota B2601 compact tractor back in March. I paid the dealer to do the 50 hour service, but decided to do the subsequent ones myself. Well, I hit 100 hours last week, which was my trigger for the next service.

I over-maintain everything that I own, and the Kubota is no exception. I decided that I would do an oil and filter change, and change out the HST filter. Well, that last part turned out to be a lesson that cost me almost a hundred fifty federal reserve notes.

Kubota uses a single four-gallon reservoir for all things hydraulic. This iincludes the transmission, the PTO, and the traditional hydraulic system (hitch, loader, etc.). There are also two filters on this system. One is called an HST filter, and the other a transmission filter. The HST filter is smaller and easily changed with minimal fluid loss. The other allows 90 percent of the reservoir contents to pour out immediately upon removal.

Guess which one I pulled off. And dropped into the drain pan. Yep, the big one. For which I had no replacement, much less the four gallons of really expensive fluid that came pouring out.

I promptly brushed myself off and headed over to my local dealership. I arrived at 1209. To find out that their parts department closes promptly at noon on Saturday. I called the next two closest dealers only to learn that the practice of closing at that time is an epidemic.

That left me to finish the engine oil change and wait until the $27 filter and the $115 of hydraulic fluid could be acquired. My bad day didn’t end there.

As is my normal practice, I poured slightly less than the published quantity of oil in and started the engine briefly to circulate it through the system. After less than a minute, I shut it down, let it settle, checked and added as necessary.

Only to find out that the fill cap had vibrated down into a trough between the oil pan and the radiator. At least I assume that’s where it went. It wasn’t where I set it, and it wasn’t on the ground. Said trough is about the only place it could’ve gone. Add another line item to the list of stuff that I must have before I can put it back in service.

Glad I finished mowing before starting the service work.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


This probably falls into the TMI category, but here goes. I absolutely LOVE my new David Archy underwear. I’m fat, and given the activity level of my new job, I sweat profusely. When I sweat and my thighs rub together, moderate to severe discomfort is the result. (No, that’s not just a fat girl problem. It happens to fat dudes too.)

I switched to the old FOTL boxer briefs that I bought the last time I had this problem. They have “briefs” in the name, but there is very little package support. While they eliminated the thigh problem, the lack of support allowed things to rub together a little higher. Same result, slightly different location.

Enter David Archy boxer briefs. Yes, they cost over thirty federal reserve notes for a set of three. I’ve never paid anywhere close to that much for drawers before. But they are worth every penny. They are made of the softest material that I have ever touched. And they have a real, built-in pouch to hold things together. One word:


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


I’ve been overweight most of my life. I’ve also tried most of the basic dieting ideas out there. Ultimately, body weight is the result of a simple equation: calories consumed vs. calories used. There are factors that impact how many calories your body will use for a specific activity, and how your body manages storage of any excess. But ultimately, if one uses more calories than they consume, they will lose weight. And the reverse is obviously true as well.

All “diets” have different selling points.

UPDATE: This wasn’t supposed to post yet. I was going to go into the many different things I’ve tried, what did and didn’t work for each, and generally whine about still being fat. But it’s probably just as well that the accidental upload spared you all that.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Race Day and Liberals

I’m on the way to my first race for 2019. It’s a 5K called Run for the Roses. I haven’t ran since October of last year, mostly due to foot pain. I expect to do very poorly.

Ladyfriend’s sister and niece flew in last night from Michigan for her birthday on Wednesday. Y’all know me, guns are laying all over the place. Sister examined the visible ones from a distance, as if they were poisonous snakes that might strike without warning. At least she didn’t make any rude comments.

Then this morning after her shower Niece puts on a rainbow flag Beto for Senate t-shirt. I kept my mouth shut. A twenty-five year old sexual assault therapist from Detroit is pretty much guaranteed to be cluess.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments