I Love My Wife

I really do. But sometimes I wish she were a little bit less of a city girl. She eschews all things bug, dirt, etc., and has no desire to be around any living thing other than humans. I mean, few of us whether male or female truly like bugs and whatnot. I’ve been known to shoot spiders, for fuck’s sake. But dirt is a fact of life, and both livestock and working animals are useful, even necessary. But none of that is the point of today’s post.

No, today I’m going to talk about gardening. Earlier this spring, I hastily built a raised bed and filled it with a generic “landscape mix”. Then I planted radishes, carrots, cucumbers, green beans, habanero peppers and cherry tomatoes. Results are mixed so far.

The first planting of radishes took way longer than the published twenty days to mature, but they did produce and a second crop of the same variety is well on its way. Beans are growing like gangbusters, as are the cucumbers. Carrots have been anemic so far. Only a couple of the tomatoes sprouted (I planted seeds after I couldn’t find any plants locally. It was late enough in the year that I figured they’d germinate fine outdoors.) but weren’t doing much. As for the habaneros, I think a couple sprouted (again, from seeds – same logic as the tomatoes) but I’m not sure as they were still minuscule and what I thought were them might’ve been weeds.

Enter my lovely wife. Given her urban upbringing, she’s never been in proximity to a garden before. She seldom does anything outside. She’s prone to skin cancer, but was never the outdoorsy type even before then. However, she does sometimes try to do things outside as much for exercise as anything else. Today was one such time. I’d complained recently about how much of a fight it’s been against the grass and weeds that want to take over. I pull a hundred or so a couple mornings a week, but a couple days later it’s like I hadn’t touched it in weeks. She wanted to help.

I told her what was where and how the stuff I’d planted looked. Somehow, either she wasn’t paying attention or misunderstood the briefing. While I slept today, she pulled up everything in the pepper and tomato areas, including the pathetic tomato plants and what might or might not’ve been habanero peppers. In fairness, the weeds were numerous there as I’d left all but the obvious ones in place to avoid accidentally pulling up something that I had planted. So, I won’t have tomatoes or peppers this year. She did a good job weeding the other areas, though.

Bless her heart.

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2 Responses to I Love My Wife

  1. Larry says:

    Mrs Hades thoroughly endorses the idea of executing spiders with extreme prejudice.

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