Annoying Ex-Wife

A couple days ago, I posted on the book of faces requesting suggestions for a weapon mount suitable for use on a bicycle. I detailed my criteria – discreet, accessible while riding, somewhat secure, and weather-resistant. 

My ex-wife wanted to offer advice. I truly do appreciate that she tried to help. She is the typical blonde, so that excuses her somewhat. But at some point, basic logic and common sense should kick in, right?

She lives in the People’s Republic of Kalifornistan, where only the elite have access to firearms. She has never owned a gun in her life, and in fact asked me for gun advice not that long ago. It took her three attempts to qualify with the M-16 in Air Force basic training back in the early 1990s (minimum score at that time was something ridiculous like 15/40 hits). But she wanted to hand out gun gear advice. 

 Her “help”: Have you checked on Amazon? What about BassPro or 5.11 Tactical? Glock Store?

Bitch, please! If it was that easy, I wouldn’t have needed to ask for help, especially not on social media. I had already checked the obvious locations. My google-fu is at least apprentice level, perhaps even journeyman. If something suitable was available from any major retailer, or from a cursory Internet search, I would have already found it. 

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3 Responses to Annoying Ex-Wife

  1. Jin Chiang says:

    Have you considered a chest rig like the kit bags from Hill People Gear?

    • alaskan454 says:

      Good to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you. Thanks for the suggestion, but I need something attached to the bike. I’m considering commuting to the GFZ that is FaucetCompany, and I can’t manipulate the weapon while on company property. I need something innocuous enough to get through the gate and not attract the attention of the roving rent-a-cop. I’m leaning towards a triangle frame bag modified to hold shape and position, and a dual zipper so I can padlock the pull tabs together while at work to keep the nosy out.

  2. Jin Chiang says:

    Caught up with an old flame. I know you like a baby with back, but she really let herself go and somehow tripled her weight. I’m going to need a Caterpillar P-5000 exoskeleton.

    Oops, was thinking of defending against an ambush. Like a hobo shoving a passing cyclist and getting new wheels. Or a tweaker fishing the wallet out of your pocket while you are dazed on the ground.

    How about something from Pacsafe? Although some nosy person can probably defeat the steel mesh inside the bag given enough time and tools.

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