English, Motherfucker

Do you speak it? I’m no Rhodes Scholar or Mensa member, and I have an affinity for vulgarity that many say is a sign of ignorance. But damn! The other day, I found this gem on the book of faces:

I never buy boots at Aldoes again bought a pair they lasted one month then the heal started comming off and they told me I had to fix it over price cheap junk..from the Mall that didn’t last even a month…Once you wear them your stuck with there Junk don’t buy there..there not fair….

This just makes my head hurt. He hit almost every error possible in less than sixty words. Numerous blatant grammar, punctuation and capitalization errors. Spelling and word misuse errors. Hell, in the last eight words he managed to use “there” for there, their, and they’re. That’s got to be a fucking record.

It was authored by a childhood friend slightly older than me whom I haven’t seen in over a quarter of a century. I thought he was reasonably well educated at least literate. Since he found me on FB and I’ve been subjected to his ignorance on a regular basis, I had to revisit that assessment.

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4 Responses to English, Motherfucker

  1. That’s painful, but I see worse on a regular basis. :-/

  2. Steve says:

    I always appreciate Weird Al’s take on grammar.

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