I’ve grown tired of having to choke down paint thinner cheap alcohol whenever I want a bit of a buzz. Fireball is tolerable, but everything else in the “spirits” category that I’ve tried has been unpleasant to heave inducing. A close friend opined that my difficulties were probably the simple result of not having found what I really liked yet. She’s probably right.  She made a few suggestions. Earlier today, I visited the local ethanol dispensary and returned home $91.86 poorer, but in possession of these:


One may be unlikely to find such items in liquor cabinets belonging to billionaires, but they are certainly not bargain basement products.

I have tried all three. I think I can say with near absolute certainty that I do not care for bourbon whiskey of any variety. Buffalo Trace is orders of magnitude better than the crap that Jack Daniels tries to pass off as bourbon whiskey, but it’s still not for me. The Glenmorangie single malt scotch doesn’t suck at all, but I don’t like it enough to pay a little over forty federal reserve notes for a bottle. The Kraken rum may hold some promise, if I can find a way to mix it that I like.

Honestly, I plan to forsake spirituous liquor almost completely and go back to buying Smirnoff Ice, which I truly enjoy consuming. It’s pricey for what it is, but I don’t really drink all that often, so I may as well enjoy what I drink. Even if it is a chick beverage.

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10 Responses to Booze

  1. Kraken is a spiced Black Strap rum.

    You may not care for spiced rums. I don’t. Cap’n Morgan’s is a spiced rum and I have a friend that swears by it whereas I swear at it.

    Cruzan makes a Black Strap rum that here in the Oregon Territory generally goes for about 15 FRNs. I prefer that for my Black Strap Rum needs.

    It goes very well with Dr. Pepper if you want to mix it, but I usually just sip a small bit of it for a while or just shoot a shot. It’s also very nice drizzled over vanilla ice cream. 🙂

    Cruzan also makes a couple of nice sipping rums called called “Single Barrel Rum” and “Estate Diamond Dark Rum”. These are nice to sip neat, or use as a mixer. Shouldn’t be too much more than the Black Strap.

    But Zaya from Trinidad is a very very nice sipping rum. It’s a blend of five rums that are aged 12 years. It’s about 35 FRNs here in the Oregon Territory. And worth much more in my opinion.

    In the case of Scotches, or any other whiskey/whisky/uisce beatha (bourbons are included), a few drops of water, or even just a single ice cube, can dramatically change the flavor profile of the drink. Drinking Scotches can quickly drain your pocketbook, and without knowing what style you like (Islay, Speyside, Highland, Single Malt, Blended) you can quickly throw a ton of money at something you wouldn’t drink on a bet.

    Canadian Club Reserve is nice, as is Bushmills. Neither of which should set you back too far, if you want to try some whiskeys that might be more palatable for you.

    If you’ve got a few friends in the area who are interested in whiskeys or rums, you can have a get together where each one brings a different one, and you all try the ones brought. This will allow you to compare a few to several side by side without spending a ton of money. I had a friend that did this with Scotches, and wines at different times. I did it with rums once and whiskeys once and both times it turned out very well. It’s when I found out I can’t stand Jack Daniels either. Even mixed with anything. I sold the remainder of that bottle to a co-worker.

    Also, if your local purveyor of fine liquors has decent staff, you can tell them what you do like, and what you don’t and ask for suggestions.

    If you haven’t tried it yet, you should see about finding Not Your Father’s Root Beer. 10 to 12 FRNs per six pack around here.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks so much for the advice. Kraken and Dr. Pepper are a wonderful combination, even if I do have to mix it pretty weak. At eighteen FRNs for a fifth, I’ll buy more when this is gone.

      My state mandates all sales of spirituous liquor go through government stores, so staff is typical incompetent, ignorant and/or unhelpful .gov or contractor types, so no help there.

      I think I’ll leave the scotch/whiskey alone except for Fireball, and stick with Kraken and the occasional screwdriver/fuzzy navel. And my wine coolers, of course.

      • Oregon has state controlled liquor stores (only) as well.

        I’d still recommend the Cruzan Black Strap. Of course you are free to select what you wish. 🙂

      • alaskan454 says:

        I’ll give it a shot once the Kraken is dead. Which might take a while, no more often than I tend to drink. Thanks again for the suggestions.

        Sorry it took so long to acknowledge your comment. To say that it has been a hectic week would be a huge understatement.

  2. Wraith says:

    Tullamore Dew. An Irish whiskey, light-bodied and flavorful, but still cheaper than Scotch. I’ve never had someone cuss me out for recommending it.

    • alaskan454 says:

      I’ll pick up a small bottle and give it a try. I’m almost convinced that I just don’t like whiskey at all, except that I do enjoy my Fireball as long as I don’t get stupid with it. Thanks for the suggestion.

      My apologies for the delayed acknowledgement. Been a crazy week here in Grumpyland.

  3. bbuddha says:

    Release the Kraken! 🙂 Actually I like Captain morgan black spiced rum. Not quite as pricey as the Kraken and really good with cola, root beer or over ice. If you want to try a clear rum, try ron rico. Bacardi SUCKS. The best drink for a hot day is tangueray and tonic. Oh, and when it comes to adult beverages brand matters

    • alaskan454 says:

      I tried one shot of Bacardi 151. I damn near died. I thought it was supposed to be good, even if high proof for a rum, but it wasn’t much better than Jack whiskey. I gave it to a guy at work just to get rid of it, after almost throwing it away.

      I’ll try the Captain out, too. Using root beer as a mixer for rum never occurred to me, but sounds very good.

      I tried gin once, and immediately deemed it the vilest substance ever accused of being fit for human consumption. It was a couple decades ago, so I’m sure it was the cheapest shit on the shelf, and I know now that you get what you pay for when it comes to adult beverages, but I can’t imagine ever trying gin of any kind again. But if the liquor store has small bottles of Tanqueray, I’ll pick one up. I would truly like to find out what I do indeed like, if anything.

      Thanks for the recommendations.

  4. Johnny Reb says:

    Try Wild Turkey honey whiskey.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks! I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m at the liquor store. Since I posted this, I’ve grown rather fond of Crown Royal Apple. I can drink that and sometimes Fireball straight with little negative feedback from my body. Thing is, I have to drink it. If I try to sip either, I commence to coughing and all manner of unpleasantness.

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