Don’t Need This Shit

The Monday All Week theme continued today. My machine was down for a maintenance issue when I got to work this morning, so I spent the first several hours cleaning tanks and doing other weekly maintenance tasks that are usually done after the production week concludes. A couple hours into my shift, my boss’s boss called me on the radio and asked me to stop by the office when I had a minute. That’s never good.

After the initial pleasantries, he warned me that he was going to “throw me a curve ball and see if I would hit it”.  This is the same prick who sent me to Train the Trainer and Training the Lift Truck Operator classes, despite my vehement and vulgar protests. Yes, vulgar. Being one of his top two or three (out of almost twenty) most reliable and drama-free machine operators gives me the luxury to be damn near completely unfiltered when in one-on-one conversations with the man. He’s a self-serving snake oil salesman, but he doesn’t have a stick up his ass.

He has been pushing for quite some time to get Team Lead positions approved for each shift. Although they are not yet posted, final approval has supposedly been obtained. He is well aware of my feelings. Ever since he first mentioned the idea of team leads, I’ve been very vocal about my lack of interest in any sort of position that would entail babysitting adults. Today he asked me, off the record, what FaucetCompany would have to do to get me to put in for one of the jobs.

“Have FaucetCompany’s parent company transfer the entire balance of their bank account into mine.”

He ignored me. He said that, based on the expected candidates, he has first and third shifts pretty much decided. His problem is second shift. His only choice is someone who, while a reasonably good worker and actually senior to me in years of service but not hire date, is not someone that he wants to put in the position. I reiterated my stand. I want no parts of the position. I’m not a people person. I suck as a communicator, and especially as a trainer. I abhor politics. I have no filter between my brain and my mouth. The last thing I want is to be a babysitter for grown ass men and women. I don’t have the temperament for the job.

“But I need you in the position.”

Fucker. I told him how dirty and sorry he was. He knows if he insists that I am truly needed for something, I’ll do it. Bluster and comfort zones aside, I will accept the responsibility and get the damn job done. This is the price I have to pay for being reliable and dependable. And not willing to seriously tell him to go fuck himself, no matter how much I want to.

It’s not quite as bad as I’m making it sound. The position comes with a ten percent pay premium, which applies to everything, not just base pay. That is more money than a bump to the next higher labor grade. Second shift is primarily a non-production shift, meaning that I wouldn’t be directly involved in production. Instead, I would be responsible for the team that does the off-shift maintenance, makes the chemical adds, and generally prepares the machines for startup on either third or first shift.

But the sonofabitch doesn’t want me to do much of the actual work. He wants me to fucking delegate. I’m supposed to walk around and make sure everything gets done, while doing pretty much nothing. Yeah, I’m lazy. But I prefer being given something to do, and allowed to disappear while doing it. I have zero respect for a leader who won’t get his hands dirty. And this asshole is going to try to force me to be that guy.

We seem to have trouble keeping machine operators, but as of now the team that I would direct consists of five people: the guy that the boss doesn’t want to give the lead position to, and the four greenest operators on staff.  One of the new guys is a bit of a pain in the ass, but the rest are just ignorant. The boss acknowledged the troublemaker, and promised that he will get an attitude adjustment prior to me being moved into the position. I hope so. Ignorance can be cured, so I’m not worried about that.

I very much want off of the machine to which I am currently assigned. I’ve begged and begged to go back to third shift on my old machine, but they won’t let me. Second shift is my last choice for shift preference, but taking this position would at least get me off that cursed machine. Dude offered to let me choose my hours if a standard 1500-2330 schedule doesn’t suit me. His only requirements are that my choice include a majority of those hours, and I must be able accomplish what needs to be done.

Fuck me! They’re forcing me into something to which I have never aspired. At my age, I probably should want it and be thankful for the chance to have a less physically demanding position. But I don’t, and I’m not. I abhor the very idea. And I know that I am going to hate it. But I’m going to fucking OWN it.

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