Trust

I’ve always been the gullible, trusting sort. I always say, “Don’t trust anyone,” and to a large degree, with strangers and most acquaintances, I follow my own advice. But when I let the walls down, I’m a complete sucker.

This morning may have changed that forever.

I got up early and went out to the building to get the necessary items to change the oil in my car. I had put the eldest child’s bicycle in there shortly after Former Houseguest moved out, so it would be safe from the elements, and from potential thieves until they could come and get it. I didn’t look around much when I did so, and this was my first time in there since then.

The jug and a half of oil that I had on the shelf was gone. Technically theft, but perhaps forgivable, or at least understandable, since FHG’s car goes through about half a quart per tank of gas. Pouring full synthetic in it is a complete waste, but such details don’t carry much weight when the one making the decision isn’t footing the bill.

On the shelf below where the oil lived was my small power tools – angle grinder, jigsaw, circular saw, Shooting Buddy’s belt sander that I borrowed a couple years ago*… Those are all gone, too. Along with my gas trimmer that I bought this year. After having last year’s model stolen from the same building almost exactly a year ago when it was at the old house.

That is inexcusable and unforgivable. There is no logical reason why FHG would need any of those items for their designed purpose. Since the building was locked, it was obviously an inside job, with FHG being the only possible insider.

Further investigation revealed that easily accessible boxes were pulled out from where I had them stored, and someone had rifled through the contents. God only knows what else is gone that I just haven’t missed yet. I’m glad I never got around to organizing things. That probably saved me from losing much more.

How the fuck can someone stoop so low and steal that much from someone who had sacrificed so much for them? I’ve always said that people suck and I hate them, but I always want to give the benefit of the doubt. Life keeps proving my initial conclusion accurate.

How can I trust anyone after this? I still hope to one day meet and cultivate a relationship with a special lady. How can I know when I can trust her, after someone I had known for quite some time had me so thoroughly fooled for months?

*A new one is on the way to you from Amazon. I hope I bought the right model. If it’s wrong, I’ll take it and reimburse you for the correct one.

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13 Responses to Trust

  1. Craig says:

    This kind of thing really sucks. I have a family member that pilfered from my dads tool box shortly after he died. I believe this kind of stuff ends up in pawn shops. A loaned weed eater was pawned as well. So, yes, I can relate.
    How can you trust anyone after this, you ask? You just do. You learn from it. You know the old adage…..”Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
    Illegitimi non carborundum
    Go kill some paper plates. It’ll make ya feel better.
    C

  2. lpcard says:

    Damn. That sucks.

  3. Jin Chiang says:

    Because your guest lacks a conscience. How can you trust again? By making sure your special lady is honest.

    You’ve known her for months? How many months? Do you have any females with a strong sense of intuition that can do a reality check before you commit?

    My lady friend pointed out you literally abandoned your home during her stay. And you actually wrote never mind why. Her assessment is that, deep down, you already knew, but didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

    • alaskan454 says:

      I never stated that it was a female. It was, and that’s the primary reason why I declined to share details in my previous post.

      I’ve known her for the better part of two years. She’s flaky and sometimes less than reliable, but was a reasonably good friend until the stunt she just pulled on her way out the door. I would never have trusted her in a romantic relationship, but I never imagined that she would repay my attempt to help her through a tough spot by allowing my home to suffer neglect and damage, much less steal from me.

      There are two women in my life whose judgement I trust, but neither is local. Any advice they may offer would be based on my input alone, and I’m blind when I’m in love or think that I’m in love, as the fiasco with B made all too clear.

      As always, thank you for your valuable input.

    • Jin Chiang says:

      It is fortuitous that you decided to be specific. Your input alone is perfectly fine. Imagine a virtual Mary Poppins putting her hand on your shoulder.

      Grumpy: “I’ve known her for the better part of two years.”
      Mary Poppins: “Good, you know her long enough to establish a behavioral baseline.”

      “Yeah, she is a reasonably good friend.”
      “Wait, she’s dodgy & flaky. That’s two strange traits for a reasonably good friend.”

      “But I never imagined she would damage and neglect my home nor steal from me.”
      “So you would never trust her with your heart. Then you should never trust her with your home which is an extension of yourself.”

      • alaskan454 says:

        Yeah, well, I have a confession. My actions were not completely altruistic. I was hoping that, given time away from the bad situation she asked my help to escape, she might get herself together. After which, she might have become someone to whom I could entrust my heart. The opposite happened, as you know.

    • Jin Chiang says:

      Sure, you had an ulterior motive, but you were also able to identify the red flags. You’re not blind when you are in love, but, rather, ignore the warning signs. Surely, if only you threw enough money to help them out of a bad situation then a relationship might develop.

      Sorry, the “Pretty Woman” gambit doesn’t work. Just ask former Austrian millionaire Klaus Schweikert. Note the discernible patterns of actions with B, Diana, and, now, house guest.

      To avoid repeating the same sequence of events again, you’ll need to break the cycle by utilizing defense in depth. First, never allow her to just move into your home. Then you have a window of three weeks before you bond to suss her out. Most importantly, when you get your bionic ears, consult with one of your trusted duchess before anything drastic like opening your wallet.

      • alaskan454 says:

        You’re right. As usual. Thank you.

        Now to find the next victim and see if I can do what I know I should. 🙂 Maybe houseguest finally made the lesson stick.

  4. Jin Chiang says:

    I’m sorry for inadvertently coercing details that you’d wanted to keep private. I was curious as to how my lady friend had ascertained your guest was female. Her reply was your previous post would have been about being embarrassed by a blubbering man covered with snot and tears because he was actually grateful for your help.

    You can only count on about 20% of your family and friends. Don’t just take my word for it. For instance, win the lottery and you’ll suddenly discover this unpleasant truth.

    I’m not liking how con artists take advantage of your kind nature. You really do need to somehow acquire a nearby guardian angel in human form. Until then, your home should be solely for yourself.

    • alaskan454 says:

      No apology necessary. I could have continued to be vague had I felt it necessary.

      Believe me, my home is mine and mine alone for the foreseeable future. As for guardian angels, God will provide. Or not.

  5. Erin Palette says:

    Hey Grumpy,

    I’m really sorry to hear about this “person” abused your trust and generosity. You have my sympathy (but not pity — there’s a difference) and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.

    (I’m just now getting back into the swing of blogging again after a holiday vacation, which is why I didn’t comment on this earlier. Hope you didn’t feel ignored!)

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