I hope that I do not offend anyone with this post. Much of what I have referenced here comes from a trip down a rabbit hole that started with links in comments from readers who were genuinely trying to help me.  Which I truly appreciate, and don’t want to lose. I’m sure to need more advice as I continue my journey.

I hate males of the species. Thanks to them, I will likely spend the rest of my life alone. By the time a lady is old enough to be age appropriate for me, she’s either already in a relationship, or is too jaded from mistreatment at the hands of males to be able to bond, no matter how much she might want to.


Simple. At least according to the internet. And sadly, the links below are not rare exceptions.  I could offer many more, demonstrating the prevalence of these beliefs. These just happen to be the first ones I found.

Women who have been with more than ten partners are high risk.

n-10But, males expect demand that a woman have sex with them while they decide if the woman is deserving of a relationship.

f-firstAnd women who don’t want to use their intimate bits as revolving doors are using men to get attention and should be summarily dumped.

no-fPay particular attention to the last two sentences.  She won’t fuck. Cut off contact with her. That boggles my mind.  Have we really devolved so far that a woman’s value is determined solely by whether or not (and how quickly) she is willing to share her most intimate, valuable and precious possession – her body, with anyone who wants it?

Let me get this straight. In order to avoid being considered “high risk”, a woman must have had the lowest possible number of sexual partners. But in order to even be considered as relationship material, she must put out.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

We treat women like shit, and then wonder why they either turn into sluts with zero self esteem – which we quickly write off as worthless in the context of a potential relationship, or they give up on men altogether. Women are constantly browbeaten and pressured into having sex, and yet males can’t understand why they don’t want it more often.

I’ve heard it said that a high percentage of women (80% is the number that comes to mind) not already in a relationship are unable to bond. Assuming that is true, has anyone ever stopped to ask why? I’ll tell you why. It’s our own damn fault. We caused it. We broke them. And then to add insult to injury, we have the balls to denigrate them for being broken. I know that there are exceptions.  Perhaps less than half of the broken ones out there were broken by male mistreatment.  But I fear that the percentage is higher than we want to admit.

Sex is an absolutely necessary ingredient in any healthy relationship. Eventually. Without a healthy sex life, no relationship is likely to survive long term. Maybe waiting until marriage to have sex is a bit much. Maybe. But so is expecting it to happen by or before the third date. I am of the firm belief that if you don’t really, truly believe that love someone, whether you have expressed it verbally or not, you shouldn’t be bumping uglies with them. I understand hormones and urges. But, we’re civilized, right? And aren’t civilized folks supposed to be able to control such things?

First and foremost, love your woman. Not just in words, but prove it by your actions. Value her. Appreciate her. Woo her. Keep doing it. I know we as a society have grown accustomed to instant gratification. But a relationship isn’t amazon dot com. Give it time. If there is still no physical intimacy, talk to her. And listen to what she says.  If all that fails, then, and only then should you entertain the possibility that she’s not into you, and maybe you should look elsewhere.

A good friend and very wise person once said, “Happiness is so elusive because society decoupled sex from love.”

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11 Responses to Wow!

  1. Well said, my friend. However, you missed part of the problem.

    Radical, second-wave feminism. Radical feminism tells women that to be equal to men, they must act like men, including being crude and having lots of sex with a lot of different people. Radical feminism lies to women and tells them that by so doing, they’ll be fulfilled. And the young women, often caught by the lies in their early teens, believe every word.

    And there are psychological studies that demonstrate the damage that casual sex causes to both men and women, but primarily to women. Those studies are hidden and scoffed at, more by those radical feminists than by pick-up artists.

    To sum up: yes, pick-up artists, who aren’t looking for a relationship at all, are shaping the attitudes of men who are; however, radical feminists, who know what they’re doing, are betraying other young women by lying to them and purposely causing them to damage themselves.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Good points, all. They definitely add to the problem, but if males didn’t exhibit such abominable behavior in the first place, the radical feminists wouldn’t have such poor examples to copy in the name of equality. So I still blame those with a Y chromosome. They started it.

  2. Why don’t more men get this? Girls learn at a young age “If you don’t put out for him, someone else will, so if you like him do whatever it takes to keep him around even if you aren’t really ready for it”. Few are able to let that thought go and to realize if a guy really cares he will not (should not) push her for more than she is ready to give. You already know all about my own experiences with this issue and the regrets I have because of this sort of thing so I won’t repeat it.

    Women seem to be stuck in a very bad place. We can’t win with other women – we constantly belittle one another for every damn thing: you’re too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, you don’t wear enough makeup, you wear too much makeup, your hair is too short or too long, the brand of shoes you are wearing sucks etc. It is a never ending battle to just be accepted and maybe have a friend or two who won’t stab you in the back the first chance she gets. Then on top of that trying to find a decent man… If we put out too soon we are a slut not worth their time yet if we don’t put out we are a stuck up snooty self righteous feminist bitch who just wants all the control. Please. Some women are like that to be sure. But some of us (I would suspect many) just want to be treated with respect, taken care of and shown we are worth more than the parts between our legs.

    The problem is everyone wants to generalize based on twisted societal standards set by ridiculous celebrities. Not all women are or want to be like Miley Cyrus or any of the Kardashians, thank you very much.

    I know I am preaching to the choir because you are one of apparently very very few who understand all this. I’m just one of the broken ones who is so very tired of the stupid games, ridiculous oxymoron expectations, and of being hurt. Again, you know this. So I’m done now.

  3. Larry says:

    Outstanding, and exactly right. In my case all I had to do was treat her like a human being. Their loss, my gain.

  4. Jin Chiang says:

    Old enough to be age appropriate for you? Is she of age? If there’s grass on the field then play ball.

    Okay, the babushkas are clutching their pearls because you’re robbing the cradle. I would rather you date a young girl still able to tether and, therefore, remain true to you. If anything, they should be doing the heavy lifting and introducing you to suitable candidates.

    Please consider taking advantage of such an opportunity if it arises.

    • alaskan454 says:

      I fully intend to take advantage of every reasonable opportunity that crosses my path. But I try to be realistic, too. Since I’m neither Adonis nor a Rockefeller, the number of women under 35 who would allow me the opportunity to show what I do have to offer is very small.

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