I hope that I do not offend anyone with this post. Much of what I have referenced here comes from a trip down a rabbit hole that started with links in comments from readers who were genuinely trying to help me. Which I truly appreciate, and don’t want to lose. I’m sure to need more advice as I continue my journey.
I hate males of the species. Thanks to them, I will likely spend the rest of my life alone. By the time a lady is old enough to be age appropriate for me, she’s either already in a relationship, or is too jaded from mistreatment at the hands of males to be able to bond, no matter how much she might want to.
Simple. At least according to the internet. And sadly, the links below are not rare exceptions. I could offer many more, demonstrating the prevalence of these beliefs. These just happen to be the first ones I found.
Pay particular attention to the last two sentences. She won’t fuck. Cut off contact with her. That boggles my mind. Have we really devolved so far that a woman’s value is determined solely by whether or not (and how quickly) she is willing to share her most intimate, valuable and precious possession – her body, with anyone who wants it?
Let me get this straight. In order to avoid being considered “high risk”, a woman must have had the lowest possible number of sexual partners. But in order to even be considered as relationship material, she must put out.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
We treat women like shit, and then wonder why they either turn into sluts with zero self esteem – which we quickly write off as worthless in the context of a potential relationship, or they give up on men altogether. Women are constantly browbeaten and pressured into having sex, and yet males can’t understand why they don’t want it more often.
I’ve heard it said that a high percentage of women (80% is the number that comes to mind) not already in a relationship are unable to bond. Assuming that is true, has anyone ever stopped to ask why? I’ll tell you why. It’s our own damn fault. We caused it. We broke them. And then to add insult to injury, we have the balls to denigrate them for being broken. I know that there are exceptions. Perhaps less than half of the broken ones out there were broken by male mistreatment. But I fear that the percentage is higher than we want to admit.
Sex is an absolutely necessary ingredient in any healthy relationship. Eventually. Without a healthy sex life, no relationship is likely to survive long term. Maybe waiting until marriage to have sex is a bit much. Maybe. But so is expecting it to happen by or before the third date. I am of the firm belief that if you don’t really, truly believe that love someone, whether you have expressed it verbally or not, you shouldn’t be bumping uglies with them. I understand hormones and urges. But, we’re civilized, right? And aren’t civilized folks supposed to be able to control such things?
First and foremost, love your woman. Not just in words, but prove it by your actions. Value her. Appreciate her. Woo her. Keep doing it. I know we as a society have grown accustomed to instant gratification. But a relationship isn’t amazon dot com. Give it time. If there is still no physical intimacy, talk to her. And listen to what she says. If all that fails, then, and only then should you entertain the possibility that she’s not into you, and maybe you should look elsewhere.
A good friend and very wise person once said, “Happiness is so elusive because society decoupled sex from love.”