In case you didn’t figure it out from yesterday’s post, B and I are over. On Sunday, she talked to all her friends (but not to me) and decided that it was over. I didn’t get a vote. Good thing. I would’ve voted wrong.
Before coming to get the living room set from her father that we’d been storing at my house, and to drop off my keys, she decided to take me for one final ride. She “stocked up” on things to the tune of $500. Then texted me a goodbye note after she left. Said she would’ve woke me up while getting the sofa so we could talk, but didn’t want to see my face.
After I woke up and read the text, we had a brief text conversation. I thought that was the end of the story. Just to be safe, I called the bank and blocked the credit card that I had given her. That was a very wise decision. Although she promised to cut up the card, she used it again on Monday for almost $400. Unfortunately, it went through, due to a massive upgrade that the bank was doing to their credit card processing system.
I will have to formally dispute the charge as soon as it posts, but all the time stamps are in place. The transaction was approved after I requested the block.
This comes after roughly $20K that I paid on her behalf during the last six months. Paid her car off. Paid for her to go see her grandmother over Thanksgiving. Paid massive amounts for Christmas. Paid her rent and electric five out of six months, after putting up the initial deposits. You get the idea. I wasn’t keeping score. I did it because I loved her and wanted to take care of her and her two little girls. In fairness, she only asked for help with Christmas. The rest I offered without being prompted.
I’m about to move into a house that I overspent on because it was her dream house. Not to mention the gawd awful colors she chose for some of the rooms. And I have furniture enroute for her kid’s room that I have no use for.
But it’s OK. She ended it now before we exchanged vows, after which she could have done some real damage. Thank you, B. May you die in a fire. But may God spare those two innocent little girls.
UPDATE: Thanks to a massive system overhaul by the credit card issuer, the initial authorization came through with the wrong date. The transaction has since posted, and it was indeed for Sunday evening, not Monday. It brings the shopping spree total to almost $900, and eliminates my ability to dispute the charge. But she didn’t use the card after she said that she cut it up.
Grumpy 
Bro, you REALLY need to stay away from women for a while until you figure yourself out. Voice of experience.
I’m reasonably sure that I’m done with romantic involvement for good. They’re all bitches, and not a single one is worth the hassle. Not to say that I’ll never date again, but chances are very good that I won’t.
Not all are bitches, but enough are that it’s not worth trying. I have, I think, three friends who are women and aren’t related to me. Only three. A few more blogging acquaintances, but in meatspace, almost all of my friends are men. Mostly because I don’t trust other women not to behave like this…or worse.
I am glad that this happened before she could take half (or more) of all your stuff.
I’m pretty sure men aren’t much better. More obvious, perhaps, but we still suck. I hate people. This is why.
Straightforward and obvious is far, far better than sneaky for someone who isn’t very good at reading social cues in person, like me. 😉
I resemble that description. 🙂
B told me many times that I needed to learn how to talk to women, usually after I phrased something in a (presumably) particularly sensitivity-deficient manner. Why the hell can I say what I want however it comes out to Shooting Buddy and it’s all good, but with her (and all women, according to her comment) I’m expected to phrase things in a particular was so as to avoid hurting her widdle feewings? Fuck that!
I jokingly told myself the other day maybe I should be a lesbian because men are such jerks. But then I remembered what horrendous bitches women are. I would rather keep trying to find a man or settle for perpetually single. Speaking as a woman, women are indeed (generally speaking) worse.
I feel your pain. Looks like I’ll be cleaning my own house, cooking my own food, and fucking myself for the foreseeable future. The drama ain’t worth it.
A fling is easy. As my lady friend aptly pointed out, you’re a living incarnation of Ward Cleaver. You’ll need to take additional steps if you want a relationship.
Your edge is being platonic for at least a year. That would negate her most effective weapon. Otherwise, your sensor readings are degraded and you wonder if your shields are even up.
You must have a cushion of time to determine her intent. Without that buffer, it is no longer a calculated risk but an expensive gamble as you’ve discovered. Start with a good foundation by being friends before being lovers.
It’s very good to hear from you again! As always, your advice is spot on. Hard to follow, but deadly accurate. Thank you. I think I will avoid allowing any new women into my life on any level, for the foreseeable future. Beyond that, I don’t know.