I Have Issues, part whatever

Drama Warning, in case the post title didn’t clue you in.

As I mentioned in my last post, B has been sick the last few days. Her throat has been so sore that she has not eaten anything to speak of in two days. Last night, she brought a meal bar in for “lunch”.

One of her young male friends/coworkers walked by, saw the bar, commented on how good it looked, at proceeded to pick it up and eat it. When she told me what happened, I wanted to beat the shit out of the inconsiderate little fucker. That’s over the line, even on a normal day. I growled something about making him bleed. A large part of me meant it, and my eyes confirmed this. Did I mention that I get really protective of those I care about?

I should probably admit that I’ve never been in a fight in my adult life. I go out of my way to avoid conflict. Mostly because of that thing called consequences. If I thought it would do any good, and knew that I would get away with it, I would have made the boy’s actions cost him some pain. But since neither are likely, he got a pass.

B said that my reaction scared her. I assured her that I would never actually follow through on any of my threats, but at the same time, stuff like that really did piss me off. Part of my explanation:

I know that you are as strong as or stronger than me, and completely capable of taking care of yourself. But part of me insists that you are a fragile, delicate and rare flower, more valuable than anything else in the world, that must be protected and sheltered at any cost.

I think I allayed her fears somewhat, but the relationship is still new enough that I will have to be careful.

As luck would have it, less than an hour later, I stumbled across this post. It was written in a self defense context, but this paragraph stood out.

Most men are not interested in hurting anyone. Many, in fact, want to be a protector. They want to be needed, relied upon or trusted to solve a problem. As much as men admire strong women there is a part of them that finds it perfectly acceptable for that woman to have her moments of weakness. Those men are okay being that knight in shining armor who comes to the rescue. If given the chance, many men would put forth the finest of efforts to fulfill that role and feel more like men because of it. 

That fits me completely. I want to be needed. I need to be useful. Blame it on poor self esteem, but if I serve no useful purpose in the relationship (beyond just companionship) I constantly worry that I will be eliminated.

And now, a picture of the happy couple:

image

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