I Survived

… the meeting with ex-Roomie. It went much better than expected, although she thinks that I need to tell Wifey now.

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7 Responses to I Survived

  1. Erin Palette says:

    Does wifey plan to return to the US? If not, then it’s a non-issue.

    If so, then you can tell her when she arrives. I honestly think you don’t owe her any more effort than that.

    • alaskan454 says:

      That’s where the question lies. Whether she will want/plan to return will likely be affected by this new intelligence. As of right now, she thinks that when she comes back (assuming final Immigration approval), she and I will try to make a go of things as husband and wife. She may not be as inclined to come under other circumstances, regardless of the current violence/war going on in the country.

      I contend that it would be best to wait until the visas are issued but before travel arrangements are made to tell her. That way, she already has the path to a green card, which she won’t have if she has an attack of pride and refuses to finish the process – something I completely expect if I tell her now. Plus, the delay will give my new relationship a little time to mature. If B or I decides that we want out prior to Wifey’s arrival, then she shows up and we give it a go without her ever knowing about B. Dirty? Yes. But no worst than she did to me when she left back in January 2012.

      Her sister is convinced that she will finish the process, and even if she doesn’t, she still deserves to know ASAP. I figure I have a week before she finds a way to tell her sister anyway, despite the promise of confidence.

      • Erin Palette says:

        Why haven’t you filed for divorce yet? If you’re done with her, as you indicate, why not make it official?

  2. Cookix says:

    Seems to me that you should talk to a lawyer. You’ve possibly got serious legal issues headed your way. Looking at this from the outside indicates a developing can of worms. Divorce, support/alimony, Immigration fraud, ect.

    I dunno, just sayin. Don’t cause more trouble for yourself down the road and think over all the implications of continuing on your current path.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, and for the advice. I may have a conversation with a lawyer, but they tend to be a bit expensive. My take is this.

      I am not a lawyer, but I don’t see any immigration fraud. The marriage was not entered into for the purpose of getting her a green card. In the instructions for removal of conditional status (for marriages of less than two years at the time permanent resident status was approved) it says that divorce or pending divorce does not disqualify an applicant as long as it can be shown that the marriage was entered into in good faith. The same idea should apply in my case. Even though I’ve recently found someone else, the marriage and the immigration petition are both valid and legitimate.

      As for the divorce/alimony, if she does come to the US, my contract of support with the immigration folks becomes enforceable, divorce or not. However, she is neither a vindictive nor a lazy person. If she comes here, she will become gainfully employed, and will support herself as quickly as she can. In the mean time I will help, and I’ll even give her the house if she needs it. Finishing the remodel will be on her, but it is livable as is. Eliminating a housing payment will make survival much easier.

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