Garmin GPS

Garmin can fuck the fuck off with a baseball bat embedded with rusty nails.

I own a Garmin GPS.  One of the ones that comes with “Lifetime Maps”.  The difference in price between one with lifetime updates included and one for which updates must be purchased separately is less than the very overpriced cost of a single update.  So, buying one with the updates included was a no-brainer. Until today.

It’s bad enough that the stupid, elitist fuckers refuse to make an update tool for Linux, and my google-fu is incapable of finding a work-around.  But I did purchase a copy of Windoze XP back in the day, and I have it installed as a second boot option so I can do the handful of things that simply won’t work on Linux.

Today I tried to update my map data for the first time in a little over a year.  I booted up my slow ass XP installation, and brought up the updater program.  As soon as it opened, a message popped up saying that I had to install a newer version of the update tool/app/program/whatever.  The old version refused to work.  So much for what should have only taken a few minutes to initiate.

I clicked on the button to install the new version.  It went through the download process at a snail’s pace, and then finally started the installation.  Which failed.  I assumed that something got corrupted during the download, so I repeated the process.  And got the exact same result.  Two more times.

I finally gave up and went to the Garmin website.  I figured I’d download it directly from there instead of letting the old program guide the process.  As soon as I got to the download page, the fucking thing rudely informed me that my operating system is incompatible with the damn program.  Vista or newer is required.

I can’t have any more of the updates that I bought and paid for, of which I’ve only gotten one. Unless I shell out a significant amount of cash to MicroShit for an abysmally horrible program that I won’t use more than a couple times per year, and probably less than a dozen times total before it, too, is deemed obsolete. At which time, it will become lather, rinse, repeat.

Garmin can lick my nasty, hairy, sweaty ass after a hard day’s work, from my taint to the top of my crack.  I’ll buy a fucking holder for my phone and use its navigation feature.  That option sucks, because the screen is half the size, the navigation app lacks many of the little features to which I’ve grown accustomed, and who knows how much information google will collect on me and later sell to the highest bidder or give to the NSA while I have the Location function enabled.

Wait a fucking minute!  I already paid for the updates for this model when I bought it.  I don’t plan to ever buy another one of their products, but I should be able to get what I paid for.  I wonder how I can make this work.  Torrentz+VM? Maybe.  There has to be a way, and I will find it.

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10 Responses to Garmin GPS

  1. Glenfilthie says:

    Years ago I had a Magellan that I used for ATV work in the back country when I was out hunting or fishing. You could set a way point, and then set your watch by it too. All my secret deer and camp spots were on it. Then the new Garmins came out, with bigger price tags and because I am a hare lipped retard I bought one thinking it had all the great new features and a colour screen and on-board camera,

    The thing worked like a bucket of sh**. I got so fed up with it I finally set it up on a log and blasted it with the .25-06. That little bit of psychological therapy cost around $400.00!

    I dug out the trusty Magellan and it croaked two years later and I can’t seem to lay hands on anything similar. All I want is a good solid mapping function! Today I rely on old airmanship, a compass and a kneepad when I am out on the quad. The GPS industry can go hang and may God rot their balls first.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Functionally, I like the unit. I’m just pissed off because I can’t get the updates that I paid for. It’s not as if it is super secret information that required them to change protocols as soon as XP support was discontinued. It’s a map, for fuck’s sake.

      I’m still working on a solution, and Shooting Buddy has graciously offered the use of his Win8 laptop. One way or another, I will get what I paid for. But never again will I buy one of their products unless they offer Linux support.

      • Glenfilthie says:

        Hmpppfff. I found that mine seemed to ‘wander’ when I was stationary. The map would start flipping around, and the unit would go into kiniptions trying to figure out where I was. Things firmed up when I was moving. What finished me off was that as a pilot I could punch in the coordinates of the small grass strip airports and then hit GOTO – and Bob’s your uncle – I was on my way to the most obscure airports just by flying the line. It was a piece of cake to do with the Magellan but a with the Garmin? Good lord.
        So now I have the latest…I think it’s a 610 or a 310 or something and it’s better…but nowhere near as good as that old Magellan 315.
        I do have a dedicated road GPS from Garmin and it is a sweetheart but it is meant for roadwork and not really for the backwoods.
        Also – not to hijack your blog, Grump – but did you ever lay your hands on that spotting scope you were talking about a couple months back? Does it work?

      • alaskan454 says:

        I got a Garmin196 “free” when I paid $1200 for a lifetime subscription to Aviation Safety back in the day, and I used it a couple times back when I could still afford to fly. It worked fine. I paid a couple hundred dollars more for a road update and a 128MB card, since they still used their proprietary memory cards back then. I used it for many years until the prices of the new ones with color screens and gobs of storage space (comparatively speaking) became reasonably priced.

        You’re not hijacking anything. Yes, I got the telescope, but no, I haven’t had a chance to try it out yet. I have a range date with Shooting Buddy next Saturday, but I will be coming straight from work. I don’t know if I will get to the range in time to get one of the 300-yard positions. I promise a post, whenever I do manage to make it happen. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. lpcard says:

    I’ll bring my laptop when I see you next, it has windoze 8 (which I loathe) but it should do the job.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks but I will accept only as a last resort. The process takes the better part of an hour, longer if there is a software update to go with the new map data. Plus, ExRoomie needs to have hers done too, before she heads to FL for vacation in about three weeks.

  3. Can you make it work in Wine?

  4. Jin Chiang says:

    Have you tried the sibling of Garmin Express? Garmin Communicator Plugin is still compatible with Windows XP. Or could you extract the map from the installer then transfer it to the GPS?

    Garmin Communicator Plugin:
    Universal Extractor:
    How to update maps thread:

    • alaskan454 says:

      I had that installed at one point, but the last time I tried to use it, it referred me to the new (at the time) standalone updater program. I guess they reactivated it, or I misunderstood and didn’t /have/ to use the standalone program (that has since been obsoleted for XP). Thanks so much for this info!

      I already downloaded and installed an evaluation version of Windoze 8.1 which got me the update I needed this time around, but it will have expired by the time I need another update.

      Hope you and yours are well.

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