Code Enforcement

… is the new HOA.

There has been a pile of shit stacked up in the yard at the edge of the house since the week before Christmas.  It started out as left over debris that the worthless asshole contractor Danny Gautier based out of Vass, North Carolina left after he fucked up my windows and roof.  Over the past several months, I have cleaned up some, and added some, but it has remained essentially unchanged for nearly eight months.

Last week, a goon from the Code Enforcement squad got an armed escort from the local tactical squad and ventured into the ‘hood.  While here, he noticed said pile of debris and issued a “Courtesy Notice” in which I was given seven days to clean it up.  I didn’t get the fucking letter until day seven, and I didn’t really want to find out what the next step after a “Courtesy Notice”, so I called and asked if they could give me a few extra days to get it taken care of.  They were a bit astounded that I even bothered to call, and readily agreed.

As luck would have it, I had already contracted with someone to haul it away two days before receiving the letter.  I found this dude on craigslist, and I first hired him to clean out the crawl space.  I asked that he make it “rake clean” after removing the old oil furnace, ducts, plumbing, wire, old hot water heaters (yes, two of them) etc.  He did that and more.  The only thing he didn’t do that I had wanted done was roll a couple boulders  from the center to the lower wall where they would be out of the way.

Since I was satisfied with his first job, I asked if he would be willing to haul away the construction debris.  He quoted a price, to which I agreed, and he promised to complete it by the end of the weekend.  At the time, I expressed that the job was not time critical, so if something else came up, a delay would not be a problem.  After receiving the letter from the local bureaucrat, I informed him of the new development and rescinded that bit of flexibility.  He promised to get it done by the end of the weekend, and I am sure that he will.

I guess I shouldn’t complain too much.  The form letter that was the Courtesy Notice had a box for “lawn needs to be mowed” that was not checked.  And there were a significant number of weeds that were a foot and a half high at the time that the notice was written.  I don’t know if it truly wasn’t noticed, if the peckerhead didn’t want to pick at me for everything, or if the grass has to reach jungle height to be out of spec.

Somehow I don’t expect them to turn into the obsessive jackasses that the HOA Cunt™ was/is, but time will tell.

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