Dating Report Week 1

Last week, I decided to perform an experiment.  I won’t go into the entire thing yet, but the first part consisted of joining match.com for six months.  If I am successful at finding someone before my subscription expires, the experiment will end there.  If not, phase II will start on week #27.  Each week, I plan to post the results of my efforts.  Here is week 1:

Last week, I e-mailed five different women.  I did not meet any of them in person.

The first contact answered, and said that she was not interested.  Her primary concerns were that I am currently separated instead of divorced, and the fact that I’ve been married more than once.

The second contact read my e-mail, but couldn’t even be bothered to reply. No problem.  Her personality and interests appealed to me, but I wasn’t particularly attracted to her on a physical level.  I’m not completely superficial, and I understand that beauty fades.  I can be attracted to someone without experiencing overwhelming animal urges the first time I see them.  Her loss.

The third contact never read my e-mail.  She’s probably not a paying member, and therefore unable to do so.  It’s probably just as well.  She’s gorgeous – way out of my league.  I only e-mailed her because she lives here in town.

The fourth contact also read my e-mail but chose not to reply.  Whatever.

The fifth contact was the most promising.  She happened to be online when I sent my e-mail, and she responded almost immediately.  She called me interesting and handsome.  Poor, blind, delusional lady, but it was a nice thing to hear.  She asked about my “separated” status.  Not wanting to give out too many details too quickly, I simply explained that she is out of the country, and unable to return without BCIS approval, and I’m waiting the mandatory year before I file for an uncontested divorce.

Well, she wanted to know more.  She also wanted to know about my “pet” rabbits, and my interest in target shooting.  I answered her questions.  She informed me that she does not want premarital sex, or “someone (for whatever reason) who has been in and out of several marriages or relationships within a short amount of time (like within 5-8 yrs).”  I had a marriage that failed during that time, but began significantly before then.  I was also in a second failed relationship that should have never became a marriage, but did because of circumstances, and my belief that there was more to it than there actually was.  Unforgivable in her eyes, presumably.

She also informed me that she hates guns, has never owned one, and had only shot one once, as a child.  “And that taught me a lesson.”  I’m not sure what lesson that was, since she didn’t explain.  Interestingly enough, she said that she did apply for a pistol purchase permit after some domestic issues with an ex-fiancé, but never picked it up.

See, lady, guns are tools.  despite your fear and hatred (and more than anything, your ignorance) guns can be very useful.  Somewhere in the back of your mind, you understood that, otherwise you would have never went to the sheriff to apply for a permit.

Then she told me that she had a pet rabbit once upon a time, and could never eat one.  Rabbits have been an accepted meat source for centuries.  I’m sure she eats meat.  Most vegetarians advertise that fact about themselves, and she did mention an interest in fishing, including familiarity with the cleaning process.  I guess she’s one of those folks who buys her meat wrapped in cellophane, and never gives any thought to the fact that something had to die for that to be possible.

She then informed me that these things added up to something she couldn’t live with, and wished me the best.

That’s it.  Now it’s off to search for this week’s victims.

EDIT:  Contact #3 did indeed read my e-mail, it just took her several days to do so.  She did not, however, write back.

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4 Responses to Dating Report Week 1

  1. Jin Chiang says:

    Compare frozen rabbit at $7.49 per lb to chicken at 69¢ per lb when on sale here on the West Coast. It’s better than gold! Well, at least, it’s more edible & fresher than gold.

    Be careful when wading into the dating pool. Go by her *actions* over time. Never her words.

    Good luck hunting!

    — Jin Chiang

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks for stopping by, Jin, and thank you for the comment.

      I’ve never seen rabbit in this area except from local breeders, and they want $10-20 per 2-3 pound fryer, depending on which breeder and if they cut it up or leave it whole. It’s definitely more directly valuable than gold, but I have a little of the yellow metal also, to trade for things I can’t produce after Federal Reserve Notes become completely worthless.

      I appreciate the encouragement and advice regarding getting back into dating. I was never very comfortable or good at it, and I’ve only been out with two people (that I didn’t already know on some level) since 1993. To say the least, I’m scared shitless.

  2. Craig says:

    You are such a glutton for punishment!

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