The worst two words a woman can say to a man.
Today I had lunch with an old flame from high school. We’ve been “friends” on facebook for a couple years, but only had one or two direct exchanges during that time. I hadn’t seen her in person in twenty-four years, and the last I knew, she was married.
The other week, I was trolling match.com, and I decided to search my hometown to see if I recognized anyone. I was shocked to find her there. I sent her a message on FB, asking if I could buy her lunch or dinner some time. She agreed, saying that she could use all the friends she could get. Not promising for romantic possibilities, but at least she agreed to meet me – a better result than the last time I asked someone out.
Well, today was the day. I showed up with a single red rose, and some really high hopes. We ate our lunch, and spent the next two and a half hours talking. She told me about the people that we went to school with that she still saw regularly, and others that she seldom saw, but had seen recently. She told me about her kids, her grandchildren, her pets, her bike, her biker friends, and a whole host of other stuff. I was reminded of how similar we are in some ways, and why I adored her so much. Hell, she was the first girl to kiss me.
Besides asking me how I’d been, she showed no interest in me, or any details of my life over the near-quarter century since we last saw each other. She did give me a hug, but it was a less-than-enthusiastic one-arm hug. Even so, I drove home in a good mood.
When I got home, I found a message on FB, thanking me for lunch. It included the following:
Just a reminder this was friends nothing else. The rose was overkill.
Talk about a punch in the gut. I’d hoped for at least one “real” date before being ruled out as a romantic possibility.
I’m still glad I went. It was almost seven hours round-trip, but I enjoyed the time with her immensely. To be honest, though, I would have preferred to have found her very different than the seventeen-year-old girl I dated, and completely unappealing. Because then the “just friends” reminder wouldn’t have hurt so much.