Just Friends

The worst two words a woman can say to a man.

Just Friends.  

Today I had lunch with an old flame from high school.  We’ve been “friends” on facebook for a couple years, but only had one or two direct exchanges during that time.  I hadn’t seen her in person in twenty-four years, and the last I knew, she was married.

The other week, I was trolling match.com, and I decided to search my hometown to see if I recognized anyone.  I was shocked to find her there.  I sent her a message on FB, asking if I could buy her lunch or dinner some time.  She agreed, saying that she could use all the friends she could get.  Not promising for romantic possibilities, but at least she agreed to meet me – a better result than the last time I asked someone out.

Well, today was the day.  I showed up with a single red rose, and some really high hopes.  We ate our lunch, and spent the next two and a half hours talking.  She told me about the people that we went to school with that she still saw regularly, and others that she seldom saw, but had seen recently.  She told me about her kids, her grandchildren, her pets, her bike, her biker friends, and a whole host of other stuff.  I was reminded of how similar we are in some ways, and why I adored her so much.  Hell, she was the first girl to kiss me.

Besides asking me how I’d been, she showed no interest in me, or any details of my life over the near-quarter century since we last saw each other.  She did give me a hug, but it was a less-than-enthusiastic one-arm hug.  Even so, I drove home in a good mood.

When I got home, I found a message on FB, thanking me for lunch.  It included the following:

Just a reminder this was friends nothing else. The rose was overkill.

Talk about a punch in the gut.  I’d hoped for at least one “real” date before being ruled out as a romantic possibility.

I’m still glad I went.  It was almost seven hours round-trip, but I enjoyed the time with her immensely.  To be honest, though, I would have preferred to have found her very different than the seventeen-year-old girl I dated, and completely unappealing.  Because then the “just friends” reminder wouldn’t have hurt so much.


This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Just Friends

  1. Larry says:

    Well hell. Sorry to hear that.

    Yep, that’s right up there with “love you like a brother” on the FML scale.

  2. Craig says:

    I think we’ve all been there. Sucks,no doubt. I recently found my “first kiss” on FB too. From the looks of things, it was easy to douse this flame I have been carrying for eons. As much as I hate to burst your balloon…… there are worse things than being single.
    Signed the “Recluse” and happy with it.

    • alaskan454 says:

      …there are worse things than being single…

      Academically, I know this. Doesn’t feel like it at the moment, though. More and more, though, I’m of the opinion that it’s simply not worth it.

      Sometimes I think that Edward Lewis had the right idea initially. (Bonus points for the first person who figures out what I’m talking about.)

      • Alex B says:

        Well, it worked for him. But for it to work for us we would somehow need to become really good looking and have millions of dollars. :p

      • alaskan454 says:

        Thanks for stopping by, and for the comment. I was referring to him making it a business deal rather than an emotional one: “I’ll pay you to be my ‘beck and call’ girl…” By the end, he’d gone and gotten emotionally involved.

  3. Craig says:

    Come to think of it… the 2 worst words a woman can say to a man is actually, “I’m pregnant.”

    • alaskan454 says:

      In many cases, yes. Occasionally, however, some guys are genuinely happy to hear those words. I’m convinced that most simply feign happiness because that is the reaction that their lady wants.

      However, in my case, it would mean two things. First, it would mean that I’d recently gotten some (otherwise, why would she be telling me in the first place?), so that much would be good. Second, it would mean that she’d been fucking someone else and is now officially kicked to the curb with extreme prejudice, because I cured that problem fifteen years ago, and verified that it is still cured less than six months ago.

  4. Garand Gal says:

    Speaking from the ovarian side of the coin, I think being just friends with women could work to your advantage. Start socializing with female friends and doing friend things and you’ll start meeting her friends, and their friends, and pretty soon you’ll have networked yourself onto someone’s eligible list. I’ve watched women practically sling-shot their female friends at their male friends, the social dynamics can be quite amusing.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks for the advice, and it is something I will try, when I can. In this particular case, I’m not sure it would work. By her own admission, ninety percent of her friends are male – mostly the bikers she rides with. The females she does know are the wives/girlfriends of said biker buddies. Add that to the seven hour round trip drive, and, well …

      I have very few friends of either gender, and none less than an hour away. If I didn’t go out of my way to avoid people, maybe that would change.

  5. akgrrrl says:

    Awww, sorry that didn’t work out for you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you…:)

    • alaskan454 says:

      I’m thinking maybe it’s time to admit defeat. A man’s got to know his limitations.

      I can always fly out to NV and see a pro a couple times a year. Hell, I’d probably be money ahead to do that, and at least then I wouldn’t have to wonder how and when it was going to end.

      • Akgrrrl says:

        Oh, that’s probably not very good.. What if you catch something icky … U deserve better, just give it time.

      • alaskan454 says:

        Thanks for the vote of confidence. You’re probably right, at least about the “something icky” part. The thing is, they are required to see a doc every week, protection is not optional, and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t be going for the purpose of having sex. In fact, I would plan NOT to do so. (I’m sorry, I’ve probably lost any respect that you ever had for me, since I have not only researched it, but given it way more thought than I should have.)

        I would pay for the sex option, but what I really want is intimate cuddling, knowing that intercourse is on the table. Sure, Roomie would cuddle with me, but sex isn’t an option there. Since I’m not really into frustration, I refuse that. With a pro, I’d be the only person in her universe for however much time I paid for. Or, at least she would give me the illusion of such. And, if biology got the better of me, I could always do the deed.

  6. Larry says:

    Had a kid that worked for me do that once, he dated an exotic dancer. He said he knew just what it was going to cost him and at the end of the weekend she went home.

    He’s married now, BTW. Not to the exotic dancer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s