On Contentment

A while back, I had settled into what I will call contentment.  Wifey’s visa application had hit what appeared to be an impenetrable barrier at the time, and I resigned myself to the fact that she would never be allowed to come here.

I had settled into my job at BigBoxRetailer, and life had smoothed out to a predictable, comfortable level.  Life consists of bumps in the road, but at that point, it was as normal as normal gets.  I wasn’t happy, but I was content.

I have a nice, comfortable place to live.  I have a job that I don’t completely hate that provides for my needs.  I have a few things prepared that should help me survive in the event of TEOTWAWKI.  I have a friend (Roomie) that I can hang out with and talk to on occasion, at least when we aren’t trying to kill each other.

I just can’t get back to the “contentment” that I had.  My life is the same now as it was back then, but somehow I’m not the same.  And it sucks.

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4 Responses to On Contentment

  1. akgrrrl says:

    I feel bad for you..:( I’ll pray it gets better for you.

    • alaskan454 says:

      Thanks. I’m not as bad as I probably sound. I have a reasonably good life at the moment, particularly in comparison to so many other folks. I just can’t sync my emotions to match this fact.

  2. Craig says:

    There are times I am happy but yet not content. Contentment is and has always been elusive to me. I may never find lasting contentment. What would make me content? You know, I have no idea. I just keep looking up and remind myself that it could always be worse.
    As I write this, it’s very quiet in the house. One 4 legged kid is asleep on the couch and the other is on the floor not far away. I guess that for the moment one could say that I am content. Perhaps it’s just contentment comes in very small doses and the effect never lasts long enough.

    • alaskan454 says:

      For me, I rate happiness higher than contentment, although they do have different meanings. I can’t imagine being happy, without being reasonably content at the same time. Regardless, both of them are extremely elusive. If you manage to catch one or the other, don’t expect to be able to hang on for long. At least, that has been my experience.

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