Almost everyone who is reading this found me thanks to A Girl and Her Gun‘s post in which she complimented my use of profanity. As much as it probably disappoints my mother, who did raise me a whole heap better than that, I have developed the habit of utilizing some of the less-cultured words in the English language.
Some say that the use of profanity is the sign of a weak mind. They might be right. I’m from poor, country, (backwoods, hillbilly, redneck – whatever you want to call it) farm stock. We weren’t the best-educated folks around, but we were far from ignorant. I slept throughout school, yet was identified in elementary school as potentially gifted. They gave me IQ tests on at least two different occasions. Both times I scored in the 160’s.
Let me be the first to call bullshit. These tests are based on what one is expected to know at a certain age. I have two older sisters who took it upon themselves to spoil me. I knew both printing and cursive, and could read well before I ever set foot in school. Hell, I even knew how to write a check.
Why would a five-year old every want to learn how to write a check?
I grew up on a farm. There was a lot of stuff sitting around. I liked to play yard sale, but didn’t have any money, even fake money, to play with. I’d seen Mom writing checks to pay bills before, so I asked my sisters to make some blank ones and teach me how to fill one out. They happily did so, until I kept asking for more blank ones every five minutes.
Like I said. Bullshit. I wasn’t gifted, I just knew more shit than the average first or fifth grader was supposed to know. This inaccurately inflated my results.
Back to my use of profanity. My family was very religious, almost fanatically so. A whole list of stuff would send you to hell, not the least of which was cussing. So, like every child who has ever been told not to do something, I did it. And, as is my custom with most things, I over-did it.
I don’t remember ever getting caught, though. Having one’s mouth washed out with soap (the customary punishment, along with a standard ass-whipping) didn’t look very pleasant when I saw it done to others, so I decided that it would be in my best interests if I didn’t get caught.
My point is this. Although I’m far from Mensa material, I’m not a complete ignoramus. I have this habit of using low-brow words. I will continue to use them to my heart’s content. I’m certain to end up in hell anyway, so why bother, right?
Although I did manage to write a whole post a couple days ago without saying fuck a single time.